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Trauma


Trauma is really, real
I’ve worked so had not to let it in or feel 
Tears are running down my face 
To my family I am a complete disgrace 
Open you eyes and ears, listen and learn 
Instead of acting like an idiot out of turn 
You think you can prescribe the right cure 
Where is your PhD in return?
You went to some meetings and now you think you are a pro
To diagnose trauma and act like a hoe
You think its all about the wine
Have you thought that I’ve been pretending to be fine? 
Take a look in the mirror 
Maybe you could of helped your 1st daughter and steered her clearer 
 
You pretend to see things in so many ways 
But you are gong through my sisters plays
I am different and I am strong 
How come you never helped me grow?
One shoe does not fit all
Should of put me in therapy and let me bawl 
 
My birth mother came after me with a knife
I always protected my sister’s life 
I remember belt buckle across my hand and my face 
All I could feel that I was a disgrace 
She wore her feelings on her sleeve 
I ran away alone to grieve
Sexual assault was something you believed she went through 
I on the other hand was never asked if I was forced to screw 
 
How can you be so selfish and so cold 
When I’ve only asked for support 
Yes I have dealt with things not well and wrong 
Realize this has been the toughest year so far 
I just wanted friends and support 
Instead I ended up in a jail court
 
I was fine and collected 
Until I became a mother and reflected 
How can a parent give up a child?
I was in love with mine when they first smiled 
What did I do to be given up for adoption? 
Like a used car at an auction 
What if I was a little nicer or a little more sweet 
Could I have won their hearts and made them complete
Maybe if I was a little more quiet and polite 
I would still be in plain sight
 
She was taken from me so wrong 
A man killed her and let her bleed out too long
I hate her and love her at the same time 
But need to forgive her and accept her in time
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