To Travail

I once found a spot A place where sanity stood still I got a rope and tied it down Round and round and round it went Each piece held tight No room for screws to loose and fly One end of the rope clutched in my right hand A fist reigning with the strength of desperation Trying to force the presence of sanity Over time the water called my name And anxiety stole my left hand away A deceptive urging said, “It’s okay. It’s okay to go for a swim. You are so tired, Your shoulders so heavy, Your heart so full. It’s okay to take a break. Rest in me. It’s okay to drown.” My right hand grew tired Yet in it a string that was once a rope stayed A single shred of sanity whispering, “No, run, get away! Run away while you still understand, Before anxiety becomes a familiar friend.” The culprit led me down the dock With every step the waves, they tossed And a growing voice coaxed, “Jump off Life would be so much easier if you dove into the deep and never came up.” With one final shove it pushed me in Under the crashing waves I went All but pain was torn away And a single thread in my right hand ~ This is depression Pacing the mind Stretched on every side Drowning in Fear Anger Lies A sliver of sanity trying to make you recognize This fake reality characterized by Oppression Doubt Hopeless cries All the while you try to decide If life is really worth living when you don’t feel alive Because maybe Just maybe You are already crazy The thought comes in that maybe You are not worth saving ~ I tried to let go of the rope I admit I wanted to give up on myself before anyone else did But my fist held fast around that thread Stuck in a molded position that whispered, “Hold on” And then I was flying through the waves The keeper of my sanity pulling me free Over and over he said that he would Not Give up on me “You may be a broken reed, But you are Loved Cherished Mine” he vowed Out of the water I came Surprised to see there was no dock We only stood upon a solid rock I found the waters, he had calmed There he breathed Life into me Through his eyes I saw true reality I searched and I realized All anxieties, he carried for me To him, they were nothing To me, He was everything