Trepidation Excites

Strong women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not confident or built to survive.

But when I start to talk water falls from my eyes.

I say,

It’s the quiet that consumes me,

The fear that tears my soul apart,

The fear of a hand ready attack,

The silence that lives within.

I’m a woman

Fearfully

Fearful women,

That’s me.

I walk into a room

And no one sees me,

And to a man,

They stand and tower over me,

Then they raise their hands,

A sword stabbing me.

I say ,

It’s the calm of my silence

The strength in my tears,

The darkness in my eyes,

And the fear in my spine.

I’m a woman

Fearfully.

Fearful woman,

That’s me.

I myself have wondered

What am I.

I try so much

But i can’t feel what is deep.

My soul is empty.

When I try I still can’t see.

I say,

It’s in the part I can’t see,

The bruises on my back,

The way I accept defeat,

The way I am just okay.

I’m a woman

Fearfully.

Fearful woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why I never smile.

I barely come into town

Or utter a word around.

When you see me walking

It ought to make you frown.

I say,

It’s in the way i raise my children,

The way I feel trapped,

The way I take the pain,

The shallowness of my soul

Cause I’m a woman

Fearfully.

Fearful woman,

That’s me.