True Feelings

Me: I love you a billion ca zillion trillions daddy.

 

When I was 5 everything was great. 

11years later feels like I've been hit by a freight.

Fear that Ive seen in those firey eyes filled with so much fury.

The firecracker of a mouth you have. Puts fear into my soul.

 

I miss those days when everything was great. Those memories we had turned into memories That was bad.

 

I love you so much. But at this point in time. I hate what you've become.

Those words you spit are bullets to my heart. 

 

POW! You shot me. Not physically but mentally and emotionally. The man that I see isn't the man that I thought it would be.

 

You don't know what those words mean and feel to me. 

You keep pushing me away leaving me in the deep end.

And you don't even know.

 

I hate the man that you are! 

Hate is a strong word but this is how I feel.

I don't have the guts to tell you but I wish you would change into the man that I want to call daddy. 

I love you and miss you but it's time to say goodbye.

Love, your baby girl