True Story

When I found out

That my biological father was goin to die

My heart cried

And my brain condemned me

For allowing such sorrow to seep into my soul

"You didn't love him anyway"

I was alwasys good at lying to myself

My pain came in jolts of electricity

Eache lightning strike

Was a toxic concoction

I forced myself to swallow

I wasn't strong enough to admit that I
 loved him yet

But I was strong enough to want to hate him

Strong enough to carry the weight of the box hey should've put him in

And trown hi ass into the river

Strong enough to cry...

At his funeral

But they didn' put him in a box

Just him on fire

So he'd be nothing more than a memory in a vase

Man was I confused...

I couldn't understand why my brain

Was trying to make him a saint in my eyes whe

Let's be honet

He was a piece of shit

A piece of shit

But God I loved him

I loved him so much

I still do

I wanted so badly to give him his 700th second chance

To fix himself

To heal him

To apologize for breaking him

You know

It's weird

I walk around telling people

That my dad is dead

But I know on my 18th birthday

I'll expect him to call, wanting to see me

And it is then

I'll realize this is not a dream

Or a wish come true

It's just a really sad true story