Trumpet Boy

I watched him everyday in class

Watched how he sat

How he listened 

How he wore the same hoodie everyday

How he presented himself with others

How he laughed

And even the way he breathed

I couldn't stand him

I couldn't stand his laugh 

His attitude 

His smirk 

I never spoke to him

But I knew I couldn't stand him

Then a girl came along 

She asked him and I to sit with her 

I barely knew them 

I knew them by instument, but not by name 

Soon we all became close friends

He and I started talking, he wasn't what he presented to the world

He was nice

He was sensitive 

He was Alex

I had a bad night 

Cried myself to sleep, hoping he wouldn't notice my tears 

I wake the next day 

He noticed

I told him not to worry, but his stubborn personality prevailed

We talked most of the day, I wouldn't tell him my secret 

He told me I was his friend 

I can trust him 

So I gave in 

He was upset to hear the secret I shared 

He was the second to know, and the first to convince me to get proper help 

He wanted me to be happy 

He would stay up long hours of the night texting me when I was upset 

He told me if I couldn't go to the teacher he suggested, that I could tell him 

I scared him 

And I knew it 

Self harm is scary, and he just wanted me to stop 

After fighting him for three months I told him I'd go 

He was the happiest person 

I still told him everything 

Good 

Bad 

Scary 

Aggrivating 

I told him everything 

I trusted him with my life 

Then feelings started to grow 

It wasn't my intention, they just appeared 

I kept it hidden for months 

But one night, and one joke broke it all 

When he found out 

He said he was pissed 

I bought him his favorite candy with an appology 

He said we were okay 

The next day I asked if we were really okay and if we could still be friends 

He told me he didn't know 

He hasn't spoken to me in two months and counting 

The person I told everything to 

Became a stranger 

I saw him everyday for the rest of the year 

It was a long and painful ending 

Now he's 5 hours away 

I miss his humor

I miss our talks 

I miss our jokes 

I miss his songs 

I miss his smile 

I miss his laugh 

I miss his smirk 

I miss his attitude

I miss our texts 

I miss our friendship 

Most importantly 

I miss him