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Trust Raid

by NMartSwim

Through the cracks sands of time slip Opportunities sucked into a vortex Piles of rubble once called Courage Strewn on the floor shattered and destroyed Words of one never so powerful True colors shown flag flying high Skull and bones raider of hope Take your bile and leave
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NMartSwim

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Comments (1)

QV
<p>Cliches can greatly weaken a poem (for example &quot;sands of time&quot;, &quot;piles of rubble&quot;, &quot;skull and bones&quot;) unless you are using them in a satirical fashion. I wonder what is the inspiration behind this piece you wrote. It appears different from the others I have read. A subject (the sands of time) are performing an action here (slipping). Even though the poem as a whole can be improved, the elements of poetics are present. Good job. Keep on reading and writing. Q.V.</p>

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