I write poems about feelings. But never about one true self. I write poems freely but never with a purpose. Now I write poetry to show one true self.

I lived a life of lies. Of lying to people or my friends. I've lived a life of self-minds. Never thinking of the time. Never explaining my mind. Avoiding questions as I avoid my feelings and write them on a piece of paper. Making them seem real and not my own. I'm a scary cat. Afraid to face the world. Afraid how my life will turn out when I really am alone.  Yes, that's the truth but people who know me know this already. So I avoid the truth again. One.

So looking in a mirror and what do you see. I see a girl with a messy hair and a big heart. That she lets anybody enter because she loves having friends. But that's a lie. Two.

I let people enter just to have company. Calling everybody a friend makes you sick. Not knowing who to trust but you say you trust everybody. You act like a happy person and weird one to impress anybody but you don't know who you are.  Woops. Lie Three. Feelings

 I've never understood them. No I never understood love.  Anger and sadness. I try to be sad and see what it truly feels. But when I do get sad. I avoid or get angry to make people stop asking me what's wrong. I think crying is a weakness. When it only happens to me. To get severely angry easily but your not bipolar and to cry so hardly but the tears are humor to other people. I hate feelings.  The only thing I want to feel is nothing but then the loneliness would be clear.

Four.  I'm the outcast. No I'm an ordinary teenager that people walk over. I'm just a simple girl who needs a life. Who loves a lot of things but is afraid to try them because what she sees she thinks to hard. Pictures what people think but mostly judge herself. Yeah. I'm my own bully. That's why I never take crap from other people and take it seriously. Five.

You know the truth and now you see. I'm a ordinary as can be. Just simple minded and blinded by things that I stay away from. Holding my own self back. Never letting my true self open up to other people like you.