truthful lies

I wonder what took me so long To send this to you When you came into my life I thought it was a joke Because then my life was a joke I was fighting my demons So blinded to see the angel standing by I saw the way you try so hard to put a smile on my face And I keep turning away Those times we used talk at balcony Were my best days But I didn't know what feel I was confused my life was at the end I was trying to safe me So selfish was I that I destroyed you Everyday I try to explain but my ego kept me high years passed And the torment Never left me I used to look straight into your eyes But now am not sure if I can look anymore I didn't understand my whole heart played me I was trying to put the right words maybe after all I never had it I used to remember But memories hunt me How could I ever forget When the world brought me down you caught me Those lazy stories you told me I remembered our first day I was happy But didn't know the reason I always find reasons not to love you But your heart held me closely You taught me the really meaning of boldness Your persistence is all I got now You are something to loose with regret Even those times you whisper in my ear I heard you I always did but I was more focused on the life outside us The day I told you good bye I thought I would never cry that's What I said to myself a billion times but nothing ever broke me like you did I don't even know if I really want us But pride choked me if I love thee The life I build would jealousy break me down