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Try

by frizzle82

Speak Say something Anything Live Die Pain Suffering No Be happy Joke Laugh Cry Stop Turn around Now Today Be okay Tell the truth Lie Put on a smile You're glowing Really
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Comments (1)

ScottBailey
<p>Dear mentee,</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>The speed and voice of this poem reminds me of the poems by William Carlos Williams, especially from his collection Spring and All. &nbsp;</p><p>http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/4671#poem</p><p><span style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em;">Note the imagery, the actual tangible ones in relation to the narrator&#39;s emotion. &nbsp;</span></p><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">&nbsp;</div><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">If you wanted to revise your poem, you could use WCW&#39;s poem as a guide. &nbsp;For instance, you could follow &quot;Live&quot; with an actual example of living, etc.</div><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">&nbsp;</div><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">I hope this helps. &nbsp;</div><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">&nbsp;</div><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">Thanks for sharing your lovely poem....</div><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">&nbsp;</div><div style="color: rgb(80, 80, 80); font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-indent: -1em; padding-left: 1em;">Scott Bailey</div>

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