Try

Speak
Say something
Anything
Live
Die
Pain
Suffering
No
Be happy
Joke
Laugh
Cry
Stop
Turn around
Now
Today
Be okay
Tell the truth
Lie
Put on a smile
You're glowing
Really

Comments

ScottBailey

Dear mentee,

 

The speed and voice of this poem reminds me of the poems by William Carlos Williams, especially from his collection Spring and All.  

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/4671#poem

Note the imagery, the actual tangible ones in relation to the narrator's emotion.  

 If you wanted to revise your poem, you could use WCW's poem as a guide.  For instance, you could follow "Live" with an actual example of living, etc. I hope this helps.   Thanks for sharing your lovely poem.... Scott Bailey

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