Try Being Me.

Close your eyes.

Listen. 

Listen to the rejection stated in the nicest way possible.

Your stomach drops.

Your heart races.

You can feel it in every inch of your body.

Your core shakes.

You look him in the eyes

And you smile.

The words,

Your response;

You push it out with all you have,

"It's alright."

Your smile quivers.

You force a laugh.

You blink and look away.

You hold your composure until he leaves.

You hold your composure in the hall.

You hold your composure in your next class.

You hold your composure until your bedroom door closes behind you.

It's been eating at you all day.

His words play over and over.

Theres nothing left in you to fight it.

You fall to the floor.

Your transformation begins.

The room gets dark.

His words become louder and louder,

Repeating over and over.

You know this isn't right.

You shouldn't be affected this way.

It's wrong. 

Knowing that won't create it's demise.

It worsens.

You start shaking.

You're nauseous.

Your head pounds.

Heart races.

Eyes tear.

No, they pour.

You embrace yourself 

But the anger finds a way out.

You throw things

And you hit what you can reach.

If you try to get up, you'll collapse in your tracks.

After all the screams escape,

After all the fists fly,

After all the anger leaves,

You cry.

You cry.

You cry.

Now you're not mad at him,

You're mad at yourself.

You're mad that you were weak enough to let it in again.

You cry.

You cry.

You cry.

All that's left is exhaustion,

and hatred.

Hatred for yourself.

Hatred for the monster you can become.

You cry.

You cry. 

You cry.

         ....until you sleep.