TRYING TO ESCAPE

Every day I’m trying to escape.
Trying to escape the pain I feel inside.
Won’t anyone help me?
Why won’t they see the signs?
The signs of me not wanting to be here.
Is my time finally near?
Please, let it be over.
Please, let all this pain I feel go away.
There will never be another rainy day.
I’m trying to escape.

Depression has its grip.
Trying to keep me sick.
Will I ever be fixed?
I feel so caged in.
Caged in my own feelings.
Its hard to talk to someone.
Because none will ever listen.
They’ll never understand.
All they’ll say is, “Its okay.”
I don’t want to live another day.
I’m trying to escape.

They always asked,
“Are you scared?”
Scared of what?
Scared of no longer continuing life?
Scared of taking the blade?
Scared of seeing the shade of red?
Scared of laying in bed?
Scared of no one noticing?
Scared of trying again,
But succeeding this time?
Oh, no. I’m totally fine.
They knew the warning signs.
But chose not to help.

I’m trying to escape.
Trying to escape the thought of this.
Because I know I’ll surely be missed.
Evil thoughts always roam.
Even while writing this poem.
Can’t you see I’m not okay?
No. But I’ll take it day by day.
Please, Chase away the darkness.
I’ve never felt so helpless.
I’m not as strong as I used to be.
Can never hold the tears back anymore.
But the darkness keeps coming back for more.
I’m trying to escape.

I’m looking for a sign.
A sign to keep living,
As the time keeps ticking.
I can’t keep living this lie,
Smiling to the world unknowing.
When will they notice?
I’m falling apart.
I’m ready.
Ready to go.
There’s nothing left to do.
I can no longer escape.
Please, let everyone sleep soundly.
They’ll never know how loudly
I’ve been screaming out.
There must be a better place.
A much more better place than here.
A place in heaven where there’s no more hurt.
I can’t escape.