Twenty-Six

2- 6

26

Age 1. the first time I wasn't picked first

Age 2. The first time I felt unwanted 

Age 3. the first time I wondered if you actually loved me

Age 4. The life changing moment I made a change to my body (Ear Piercing)

Age 5. The first time I questioned why I had to wear dresses?

Age 6. When I realized family comes in different shapes, sizes and color

Age 7. The first time being a girl mattered because I wasn't one of the boys

Age 8. The first time I was criticized in public for passing gas as female it wasn't lady like

26 

2+6=8 Age 8 times the amount of regret I feel for listening to those voices

2-4= 2 The first time I was left alone for days without care

Age 9. The first time I engaged with kids my own age. . . kids weren't nice

Age 10. My eye brows were too thick for my age, caterpillars the girls called them

Age 11. First time belly shirts were a thing and my mom didn't agree, goody too shoes

Age 12. When I began to hate my reflection

Age 13. I was labeled as weird

Age 14. All the kids are doing it, so shouldn't I be doing it too? Alienation

Age 15. Fitting in was never easy, especially when goodwill is what you wear on the inside and out/

Age 16. another Hammy-down this one from a cousin who smelled weird and the washer couldn't get the stench out

Age 16 again because that girl wanted new clothes, new job smelled like grease

Age 17. My dear child writing isn't a career, how about medicine? 

Age 18. College applications were due, baby make sure its a degree worth living for

Age 19. First time I smoked pot, first relief in all things sad, my surroundings and expectations melted away

Age 19. The time he promises just the tip, we all know the ending to that one

Age 19. I miscarried and felt guilty for being slightly relieved. 

Age 20. It was my fault he went further than he promised right?

Age 21. legally can drink, I drank to much to drown the depression that was body, soul deep

Age 22. Aching for a change of scenery, move into a new apartment

Age 23. meet friends who change your world views

Age 24. Meet guy who is amazing

Age 24. Have a child with said guy

Age 25. Your life changes as you promise not to get lost in his world as we move for his job

Age 26. We have arrived. We are making it, or are we, I feel as though I am paper thin and could blow away into the universe at any moment and no one, not a single person would even notice.

Age 26 may be my age

it is also the amount of letters in the American alphabet

26 letters, millions of combinations to give you an entire poem relating to those 26 little characters, with that being said 

Who are the 26 characters in your life?

Are they bettering your chances in combinations

or are they shortening the stories you are dying to tell

26 tiny little letters, yet, we use them to move mountains, emotions, and oceans.

What will you do with your 26?