Of Two

I learned about dualism a year ago.

How everything comes from two.

I only applied it to literature though,

until I realized it really is me and you.

I am bold when something is important to me,

yet I shy away because people judge.

I live in the moment and feel free,

but then I'm trapped in the past- no escaping a grudge.

I dance all the time when I am alone,

but around you, 

I'm a nuisance, always stepping on your toes. 

Sometimes I pretend I'm through

with the judgement and hate and my fate.

I think I can make my own path,

dig my own grave.

But then I feel His touch of grace (or maybe wrath)

and suddenly I'm once again a part of a plan.

People tell me I look sad,

I think it's my eyes.

But I'm honestly happy; it just makes me mad

that I want to change the world but I'm not yet wise

enough to even make a difference.

I say maybe one day I'll put it all behind me.

But do I really want to do that?

Everything that now seems so pressing in the moment's heat

is what makes up the person I will be. 

I am of two;

You are of two.

This thought has taken over in my head.

But even though we say we're all this and that, 

we're really only alive, then dead.