Two Forms of Expression

As my name can easily give away...

I am a tubist.

But I am not your average tubist,

for I am not only female,

but I see the tuba as my life

Most won't understand

And this I can accept

But next to poetry

It is tuba that saved my life

These two things in combination

Kept me from walking the wrong path

They kept me enlightened and happy

And lit the way to dreams and fantasies

The music of my heart

is poured out through the gleaming bell of my tuba

While my thoughts are poured onto paper

Both are expressions of me

Tuba being raw, explosive, unbound

Poetry being calculated, determined, analyzed

These two things together

Describe who I am

Internally, I am cold and calculating... 

forever second guessing

On the outside I am warm, welcoming

A person with no bounds and no worries

I blend together the words and the music

To make sense of myself

Even though myself

Makes no sense to anyone else