Country 1 said to Country 2:

You can't be anymore,

devastated in war,

ridden with disease,

drowning in debts,

and deep in poverty than I!

 

Country 2 said to Country 1:

I digress, that sounds horrible indeed.

I am not devastated in war,

I devastatE in war!

I am not ridden with disease,

I spreaD disease!

I am not drowning in debt,

Well not as much as yoU!

I am not deep in poverty,

I have the toP 1%!

 

Country 1 said to Country 2:

I knew it!

You're better off than I!

Now leave you wretched thing,

leave me so I can wallow in,

Jealousy and Self-Pity!

 

Country 2 said to Country 1:

Alright, I shall but allow me to say one last thing.

YoU don't nearly have the amount of racists I have,

NoR come close to the level of obesity over here!

YoU should see the obscene number of sexists we sport,

AnD the flock of manipulators lining me!

 

And so the two Countries met half way,

shouting,

Oh! What terrible, rickety, idiotic countries we arE!

We both know this as deep as our hole-bearing souls,

but as soon as someone dares to criticize us,

We'll shoot them dowN!