Ugly

“I am fine”

I say as I turn my back to the mirror

I rehearse thoughts words in my head every day

Hoping one day they will come true

I say I am

“Fine”

But those words of reassurance are only

Lies.

“I am pretty”

Or so I want to think

I should not need to

Say those words of comfort

But still, I repeat it

“I am pretty, I am ok, I will live another day”

I want to believe it

But the more I say it

The worse I feel

But I must continue

I must conform to society

I can’t show my tear

Because they will laugh

So I hide it

I don’t show my pain

I don’t show the world

What I truly feel

They don’t know

But they don’t care

They don’t care that every day I cry

Till my eyes can cry no more

“I am ok”

I am not a monster-

I can’t be…

I am normal

I am like you

Looking back mirror

I see:

A girl who has not eaten in 4 days

A girl who has not slept

A girl who wears too much makeup

A girl whos fashion is from 2001

A girl who is different

A girl who deserves to die

Isn’t that what society wants?

But still

I wipe my tears away

And step into the street

Because-

“I am fine”