The Ultimate Spider-Slayer

Alistair Smythe, a.k.a. the Ultimate Spider-Slayer, has kidnapped John Jameson, which is bad;

When Peter Parker finds out what the Ultimate Spider-Slayer has done, he gets mad.

John Jameson is the son of J. Jonah Jameson and is a fan of President Donald Trump;

The Ultimate Spider-Slayer is a jerk and a chump.

Parker changes into Spider-Man and swings through the air, searching for the Ultimate Spider-Slayer, which is true;

Finding the Ultimate Spider-Slayer's lair is what Spider-Man would do.

When Spider-Man breaks into the Ultimate Spider-Slayer's lair, he jumps on the ceiling and crawls on it;

The Ultimate Spider-Slayer is full of shit.

When Spider-Man sees the Ultimate Spider-Slayer, he jumps down and confronts his foe;

When the Ultimate Spider-Slayer sees Spidey, he tries to attack the hero.

Spidey avoids being attacked by that evil fink;

The Ultimate Spider-Slayer really stinks.

When Spidey defeats the Ultimate Spider-Slayer by knocking him out, he spins a web on the fool;

After that, Spidey frees Jameson and calls the police, which is cool.

When the police arrive to arrest the Ultimate Spider-Slayer, Spider-Man swings away;

Spider-Man saves the day.