The Umbilical Cord

The Umbilical Cord

The seat belt that strapped me to life, holds up the intricate organism it created above the dark fog.

The cord that suspended my reality from dreams

Like a wobbly bridge across a canyon has started to rip, revealing a pit.

A pit where living without my rusty anchor is considered a crime and everyone is expected to stay forever.

I live in constant fear

afraid that my bridge may collapse

I’ve heard legends that under this bridge there is eternal ambrosia,

But this confection is guarded by Guilt

who stays armed with heartbreak and anxiety.

He waits under my bridge, hoping that his next meal will be a bowl of milky blood and a glass of saline tears.

Instead of falling with my bridge, I choose to run into the arms of the shadow standing across my bridge.

And as the Shadow grabs my wrist and pulls me further away from my bridge,

I smile

Feeling safe in his hold

Because I am no longer falling into the unknown but

rather trusting the Shadow to take me to a small cottage away from it all.

Hoping that he will steer me towards a cottage where we will hold each other under a blanket, forgetting about Guilt and the demons that slumber beneath our feet.

Instead, the Shadow brings me to another bridge with his flimsy umbilical cord.

As he pulls me to the center of his bridge, I lean over the edge.

I know that Guilt is down there too

But he’s not mine

I see the tops of pine trees peek above this foreign mist that spreads across the hidden town.

As the shadow cuts his umbilical cord with a machete,

A shiny new anchor latches onto my ankle

Yanking me down to his civilization

As I fall a twitch engulfs my body

And a dog collar straps me to the Shadow forever.

A collar so constraining that the blood builds up around my neck and drains the color from my nose.

The Shadow tells me that it makes me look beautiful

So I tell him that I will always wear the dog collar for him.

So I tell him that I will live under his bridge forever.

So I tell him that I will be by his side when he starts a war against his Guilt.

Meanwhile, my bridge has been replaced with sturdier materials.

Steel lines the sides and the edges are permanently welded together.

And under the bridge, my Guilt grows taller, braver, stronger.

And the rickety bridge that was once a gateway to war with Guilt

Is now forever shut closed, never again to be strapped together with an umbilical cord.