unbearable hate

i can’t bear this any longer
it’s never been this bad
maybe i used to be stronger
but now i’m more than sad

some days i think i’m pretty
my face is mostly good
but my body is another story
not good enough for hollywood

my clothes are not fitting right
and i don’t feel like myself
i can’t move comfortably
or get a grip on my health

when i look in the mirror
i am worthy of beauty
but when i see other girls
nothing about me is pretty

no one has said that i’m ugly
but that doesn’t matter
because my brain tells me i am fat
and i can’t quiet it’s chatter

i don’t tolerate bad things being said
by other people about how they look
but i never take my own advice
i’m just quietly misunderstood

life is pure awful
every day is full of pain
i need help
a full rewiring of my brain

i stupidly think
this will all go away
when i live by myself
but that is far off from today

i’m excited to see
who i’ll be then
hopefully this is all worth it
with a happy ending already written

everything will be okay
this i know for sure
i have things that i love
and many more years to mature

i am exactly what i am supposed to be
and beautiful because of it
no one can tear me down
i will never ever quit