the unconscious conscience

Look at me im intimidating black and have dreadlocks , im what would be profiled as your typical thug but no im Just a lost hopeful thats running out of  luck ,penny pinchin , money clenchin ,selling his shoes just to get a buck . I came to realize it was real life when my mom died in front of my eyes, there was no compromise , at the age of 8 what a change of fait i lost my heart , my rock & for the most part i didnt know my pops the pain never stops the heartache never parts  when were speaking technicalities he was dead from the start...at least in my eyes but still i rise from the black stereotype thats got us all cant even look up to my brother because of all his run ins with the law , the law ? Yeah the law he fell victim to the system and  i took thorough revisions of his wisdom so i could find it in my heart to forgive him. I ask why god why arent i blessed like the rest ? He responds youre a strong boy im just putting you to the test ! Im a terrible test taker ! I hate testing personally, but i do it for my siblings that didnt get to encounter the diversity at a university for various purposes for we dont all have it easy for this harsh life is merciless  i promised my grandma that id go to college & that she wouldnt have to pay a penny out of pocket because i was going to pay for college with my knowledge because lord knows i couldnt pay for it with the 40 dollars in my wallet. Look through me , theres milage , theres fear theres tears , look at me you see trouble  , look in my eyes , you see puzzled , for i am a developing man with a plan in no mans land which in other words is known as the struggle! But the struggle is only part of the troubled bundle that's doubled when competition is embezzled to extensious levels forcing one to craft the art of sin consigning a contract with the devil. Hell , hope , lies live alive so they live their lives paying ties , so that the knotted debts can unvail descending the hail of the trail leading to the road of success leaving the world very obedient. They say never bite the hand that feeds you but you haven't even read the ingredients.