Uncovering Herself

I stare at myself in the mirror.

Wondering if I look hard enough.

If I could see the real me inside this shell of a human.

I squint.

I blink.

I peek.

But nothing is shown back to me.

I am a Mixed Girl in America.

The Whiteness in me discarding the Blackness that wants to come out.

The Blackness in me too washed out to be seen.

Yet there it is.

On my skin.

The only way I can be identified.

The skin I was born with.

The features I live with.

And the hair that I'm in love with.

It's there and I'm here.

Yet still facing the fact that I will never truly be able to connect with the roots.

I so desperately want to be filled.

My blackness filled with so many regions.

That I will never be able to go and say yes I am this.

I am everything.

Yet I'm still nothing.

Too White to be Black.

Too Black to be White.

Where do I go from here.

The mirror stares back at me

I can see myself clearly.

But my identity is still foggy.

I'm just a Mixed girl in America.

Still trying to Uncover Herself.