Undeniable

I won’t be meeting you any time soon...

I wish it were this easy to say. 

I wish it were this easy to avoid. 

I wish it were this easy to hold to my word. 

That when you are ready to meet me I will not be ready. 

But how do I avoid something that’s destiny? 

You will hold steadfast in your place and I will back down—afraid of ruining who you worked so hard to be. 

You will crash into insecurities and gay bars 

like the wave of love you are and I will be nothing but a mere fish wanting the dolphin. 

I am nothing but the girl in the corner of parties and you are nothing but the party. 

I am nothing but the shy girl sipping iced coffee over paperwork and you are the co-worker standing at cubicle corners cracking jokes with slackers yet you have nothing to do with slacking. 

I am nothing but a margarita drink rimmed with sugar and you are everything hard and fiery and whiskey on rocks.

And I wish this was so easy to avoid. 

The way my heart will skip a beat because the tune it’s trying to play is not familiar. 

The way my ears will tingle at the sound of your effortless voice.

The way my body will ignite in flames when you give me my first match stick hug.

And my love, you will not know. 

This will be so easy for you. 

So undeniably simple it will be just another day

But any day is not just another day for me and soon...you will understand. 

But for now....now is not the time to meet you. 

My mixtape heart is scratched by careless hands and it refuses to play

My ears bleed at the sound of empty promises. 

My body is not just a matchstick flame but a forest fire and I am not controlled and I refuse to let you burn down with my surroundings when you have worked 

SO HARD

To build your body out of calm oceans. 

You...are so painless.

So. Undeniably. Okay.