Under A Bridge

 

A few years ago I made a big change
Turning from my life setting a new stage
The years gone by had left me all but lost.
Those I'd tried to love had paid a high cost.

I packed my bags all in a big flurry
Leaving behind a past that's now blurry.
So many names and so many faces.
A second later off to the races.

I said last goodbyes to friends that were close.
A little more time with those I love most.
Then came the point I could no longer stay.
My future was out there, out and away.

Leaving that day I had no way to know
I'd hardly visit that place I'd called home
Then in a jiffy, a flash, and a bang
My home would be gone the last song was sang.

Now the lives go on both my life and theirs
Though worlds apart and quite a few stairs
And now I look back and see my mistakes
I see those I hurt, I see all my flakes

I see a selfish heart pleasing its own
I see a lost king clinging to his throne
Unwilling to relinquish all control
Completely to surrender all his soul

And at this halfway point of life and death
Living without life breathing without breath
A burden on others a parasite
Sucking away life to light my own night

Leaving ended hurt ended lies and pain
It ended a drought and brought the good rain
Freedom for them a great loss though to me
Because no longer my host would they be.

Where do I find it now?  Where is there rest?
Their lives continue on, they sure seem blessed.
Oh my soul find a solace find a home.
Less of this searching no longer to roam.

In this new place the sun rises and sets
The same sun that set on all my regrets
This change of map must bring a change in me
A new person, soul, a new thing to be

I tried searching in love to heal the scars
Again looked to friends to unlock the bars
And here again without love in my heart
Me stuck in the blocks they had a head start

So there I was all alone once again
Wallowing in self-ishness and sin
I could see no way out that I could tell
No way to escape this living hell

No solace in people places or things
Hopeless in chasing after golden rings
Me and my memories lost and afraid
Ignoring the price for me that was paid

How low must I go into that sorrow
To realize there's joy that I could borrow
Not superficial kindness and smiles
But love that would walk barefoot for miles

A love that I knew was there all along
A love that stirred in my heart a new song
All I want is you All I want is you
Nothing more to say All I want is you

All I want is you Lord to light my day
Cause every other joy just melts away
It's never to stay and never to last
And quickly becomes a part of the past

No other joy can take a heart of stone
Break it to pieces and build a new throne.
No other joy can take a heartless mess
Turn it all around to sow selflessness

Where to go from here and where to turn now
To redeem what's lost seems crucial but how?
How to reach them who are worlds away?
How do I bring healing? What should I say?

Over many dams from many ridges
That water's gone under many bridges.
To go back now seems a futility
Even if I had the ability.

What happened happened I can't change it now.
I need to be on and wipe off my brow.
To remember my past and not forget.
To remember it well but not to regret.

Naught can I do in a place where I'm not.
So look forward lest my soul is to rot.
Look back and see that my past has formed me.
Look forth and behold all there is for me to be.

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