Underneath these walls of mine

I am loud, and I am harsh.

I chew people out more often than I praise them.

I wear my eyeliner thick,

My clothes torn,

And I flip people off to show my affection.

I’m mean, a bitch, whatever you want to call it.

I don’t believe that true love exists,

and I sure as hell don’t believe that you have found it.

I push people away by acting like I don’t want them around me.

But it really is an act, all of it.

Inside, I am so afraid.

I am scared of being inadequate

of getting things wrong

of being stupid

of being unloved

of getting burned, hurt, broken.

I push people away so they can’t do it first.

Inside, I am an insecure girl

looking for someone to hold me.

I want you to have true love,

I really do.

I want to be able to let people in,

to not be so scared of not being enough.

I want to be enough.

Please believe that underneath these walls of mine

there is someone who truly feels something.

I am not empty, nor heartless, but rather

the complete opposite.

Please believe me.