Understanding a Liar

Liars don’t mean to lie.

Most of the time, we lie because we have to, because we need to,

But all of the time, we lie because we’re liars and we have our stupid reasons.

People think they know why liars lie, why we choose to lie, but

If there’s one thing I know as a liar, it’s the fact that

No one knows how it feels, having this name over their head, being branded by their flaws.

No one will ever understand a liar.

I’m looking at the time in my car, 5:47, and I’m thinking how

You wanted me there at 5:00, and right now, in this moment,

I want to cry. Crying won't change anything, I tell myself, but I want to, because

I don’t mean to be late. I just lied a little lie. A lie, saying I had a fight with my dad, but

The reason I was late was because I couldn’t find the right thing to wear for you,

And I wanted you to hear a good reason, nothing stupid (like this), and I tell myself

No one will ever understand a liar.

I know you’re mad. In this moment I’m the worst boyfriend, and you have every right,

Because I told you “5” and I gave you a lie. I love you forever, I mean that, and I know you

Can’t see that, but I’m hoping, I’m praying, and I’m on-the-verge-of-crying that

I’ll drive up to your house, cool the engine, heart pounding endlessly and

Your door will open, and I’ll see you, and you’ll smile. You don’t have to. I won’t make you.

But if there’s one thing I wish you knew in this world, it’s that

No one will ever understand a liar.