UNDESERVING

Undeserving  

Fear can be a lonely way to live  
Even with a partner, 
When you know that partner no longer cares  
But Merely sits and stares ,  
Darkness confirms it all ,  
What had gone wrong? 
That will be something   
I will never know ,  
I lost hope in what love is all about ,  
All we do now is shout ,  
Love can be so blind , 
It can make you lose your mind ,  
When we were young, 
We promised it would be forever ,  
But that is too long, 
And now all I have is an empty home, 
With the marks of our wrongs ,  
The unchanging of defense and battles again ,  
No love, no fun, no laughter,  
No warm to embrace,and no kind face,   
But hate words of the dark side is what he gave my life ,  
Everything's an effort, everything's a pain  
Unless its' for his own self gain, 
And Jose is his name ,  
The children have their own lives ,  
And now I must find my own ,  
And let go of what should be ,  
Old age shared together is only a dream you see for me ,  
His love he gave was all a lie he was with another on the side ,  
Honesty was never at home he was always out to roam ,  
Then he says he wanted to go back home ,  
That is not a life to live ,  
Who is this stranger that sits beside me ?  
What changed us into different people ?  
Time, life, experience, age, with lies the pain of ones game ,  
Life is just another page to another day to write away ,  
Can we ever go back to how we really were ?  
Or better just to accept its gone ?  
I could keep going on and on with what I could never answer  
So I just moved on , 
And live for tomorrow, 
Because today is done .  

Lilly Emery (C)