Undesirable Men
There were two men
Pirithous and Theseus
Known around town
As sexual deviants.
Young and restless
At the age of twenty-three,
Always drinking
And forever so carefree.
One fateful night
While out drinking,
The two young men
Were talking without thinking.
They talked about
Some attractive women
When Pirithous
Made an awful decision.
Pirithous declared,
With no small amount of bravery,
That he could date
The lovely Persephone.
This bravado
Astounded Theseus,
For no one would say
Something so devious.
For anyone else
Would have been concerned
If what he said was discovered
By Persephone’s husband.
Hades mostly keeps to himself,
His dog and wife.
He’s a simple man
With a quiet life.
He’s rarely angry
So imagine the news
That astonished everyone
When they heard what happened to Zeus.
Zeus had come for a visit
But had been pretty handsy
Whenever in the presence
Of lovely Persephone.
That hadn’t last long
And Hades’ fury was unleashed
Upon his brother,
Causing him to retreat.
The outrage was overheard
By the neighborhood
And from this rumors
Began to grow.
Some say Hades
Confronted the man
With a large knife
And away Zeus ran.
Others claim Hades
Had beaten Zeus
And that his brother had barely
Survived the abuse.
Whatever the reason
People were then careful
When talking about Persephone
To say nothing disrespectful.
But Pirithous and Theseus
Simply laughed off his comment,
Not noticing
The eavesdropping man present.
A few days later
After chatting with some ladies
The two men were met with
A calm-looking Hades.
He approached them
And started a conversation,
And then gave the men
A dinner invitation.
The two young men
Didn’t suspect anything.
It never occurred to them
Hades was up to something.
Pirithous grinned.
He was more than just happy,
As this would mean
A night with Persephone.
So that same night
Pirithous and Theseus
Went to the house
And saw the food in surplus.
All four sat down
But Pirithous only
Kept his gaze
Upon the lovely Persephone.
The lady is truly
A sight to behold,
With her shiny blonde locks
And green eyes so bold.
It’s no wonder
Hades is so possessive
And why when people flirt
He gets aggressive.
While at the dinner
The men had a great time.
Never aware
Of Hades’ plan in the meantime.
A few hours had passed
When to bed Persephone went
Leaving the guests
With only Hades present.
Their host then changed
From friendly to serious
And the look in his eyes
Made his guests slightly nervous.
Hades started to speak,
His voice was quite even.
The guests were filled with dread.
Of that they were certain.
“Just days ago
I overheard you talking
About my wife
And couldn’t help but hearing
That Pirithous,
You said with such confidence,
That you could date my wife,
Which is just complete nonsense.”
Hades left and came back
With something grasped in his hand.
Whatever it was,
The two didn’t feel so grand.
He sat back down
And his guests wanted to run
When Hades placed on the table
A small handgun.
The men’s eyes widened
And their hearts beat faster.
The night had undeniably
Become a disaster.
“You would be wise
To stay away from my wife.
Or you can pursue her,
If you don’t value your life.”
The men shook in their seats.
Their hearts were thumping.
But they dared not move or argue,
Lest Hades start shooting.
“Are we clear?”
Hades asked Pirithous.
The man nodded his head
And made no fuss.
“Now leave my house
And you two men
Better not go near my wife
Ever again.”
The two men then left
In the blink of an eye,
Frightful that Hades
Might change his mind.
They didn’t stop running
Till they reached their house.
Pirithous wouldn’t pursue Persephone.
Of that they had no doubts.
Hades smiled
And put back his gun.
It had been useful
In getting the job done.
After that
He headed to bed.
He was proud to keep his wife safe
From undesirable men.