Unearthed

Old photographs & old notes
Old words written about old feelings
A record keeping of a blissful time
All things I must now leave behind.

Memories like old movie reels in my head.
The pictures clear, but the sound fades
As I slowly start to forget your voice,
I'm surrounded by a soundless noise.

It pains my heart and clouds my mind
Enveloping me into a devouring sadness
It feeds until I force it out
Pushing my thoughts down a new route.

I suppress the emotions that hurt me deep
Becoming like Scarlett in my speech,
"I can't think about that now" maybe another day
I crowd my time and mind leaving those thoughts at bay.

Kisses to old boyfriends
Feelings that I try to force
An affair with a monster of my past
A temporary fix, sure not to last.

Unsure if I'm staying true to self
Or maybe I just wasn't before..
This time is crucial to discovering me
Making sure the mirror reflects who I want to see.

The key is not ignoring tears
Or indulging in a moment's lust.
I need to face my feelings head first
Prioritizing my own soul search.

Like Ms. Delany I need to create
Reinvent myself and be happy alone.
Initially alone may sting,
But supposedly time heals all things..

I need to push forward and live my life
Not letting the quest for another consume my time

Eventually there will be someone
To love me when this self search is done.