An unexceptional turning point in our marriage...

unexpectedly came about,

when possible prospect
of the wife going

to Puerto Rico by herself

(for a fêted celebration
of our eldest daughter
and her significant other,
which occurred years ago
courtesy justice of the peace)
attended by family and friends
across the webbed wide word
found me positing how I would feel
staying back at the apartment alone
for a couple of days -
maybe a week at most
enjoying a quasi
short lived bachelor existence -
fending for myself,
which would mean
subsisting on a diet constituting
opening a can of whole cranberry sauce,
or other fruits or vegetables ad nauseum
for breakfast, lunch or supper.

Upon the possibility,
where circumstances could find me
free and clear
from the nagging persistence
hearing "Matt"... "Matt"... "Matt"...
called out by the spouse,
plus various and sundry
other quirky behavior she playfully displays,
the sentiment of missing such annoying
ofttimes hounding, prodding characteristics
would sorely be missed,
though I rarely if ever communicate
any strong compassion
towards the woman,
(whose troth pledged
not quite thirty years ago)
continually in my close proximity.

Though our marriage
devoid of physical intimacy wife
get along swimmingly,
we exhibit less strife
than days of yore effulgence promulgated
to all readers unbeknownst to human life
form characterized by bloke,
whose words appeared across screen
exemplifying, embodying, and edifying
regarding beloved simian counterpart
bandying playfully sometimes
drubbing and drumming my body
while she emulates sounds of fife.

Although she ranks

as a fine prairie home companion since

July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six
a tad more than five months
(not quite to the day) before
"star student" birthed
on December twenty second,
now gainfully employed
at Certified B-Corporation
initially stationed since being hired
within San Francisco, California,
but presently employed in New York City.

The missus madder than a raging (red) bull
visa vis upon discovering mine absence
(cuz I slept in the basement
at 724 Railroad Avenue)
how wretched and dull
being married and celibate,
hence yours truly sought full
fill mint outside the marriage,
yet unbeknownst to this husband
an automatic, fatalistic,
and opportunistic hull
king, quaking, and vociferating wife
gave me a thrashing tongue lashing harangue
verbal dressing down, I betrayed,
coveted another woman
flaunted sacred pact
and will (as good as) hang,
analogously like being in league
with wanted villain,
who committed nefarious misdeed
which sexual imbroglio,
albeit (nocturnal escapade) did boomerang
in earshot of both
our young daughters virgin ears,
thus a sudden pang
to exit the scene arose up inside me
courtesy wishful trapdoor to appear suddenly,
(whereby regarding floorboards)
from out mine overactive imagination sprang
open to usher, and/or time travel back
to earlier that fateful night rather than lang
whooshing amidst livid rage
self serving deserved fiery emasculation,
the noose hence I did stage,
experiencing withering, twittering,
snapchatting, kickstarting blistering
expletive laced epithets think
ready to burst pressure cooker
evincing dangerously hot level gauge
driving figurative wedge
between me family
courtesy foaming at the mouth spouse
(of course deux progeny affected)
renting asunder and rendering hollow
thee justice of the peace
gordian tied, uttered,
vouchsafed worded oath I did pledge.

Divorce prematurely ejaculated,
yet instantaneously dismissed
no more pleasant alternative spewed versus
contracting cankerous cyst
analogous to toxic mother
of our two offspring hissed,
particularly the first born offspring
disparaging me directly linkedin
with promiscuous tryst
me honestly, lamely, meekly
justifying philandering gist
cuz gal methought
(good idea mister casanova wannabe),
which came as soliloquizing aside
to exchange as bartered bride
thine scorned wife,
who would relentlessly chide
(even long after the day I died)
abominable behavior, I do readily admit
figuratively found me electrified
what with raging testosterone nsync with
hormonal secretion my guide
erotic gamboling, I chose not to hide
never back once black traipsing inside
double entendre meant
viz yule eyes joyride

horizontally we and the mistress lied
devoid of prejudice but lacking pride.