unexpected hero

by chey191997

January 20, 2016

I awaken in a dark groggy horrible place feeling like nothing but the whole world on my plate with everyday somthing rendering my mental state why do I feel so much hate will this ever stop someday Then all of a sudden it stops..... A hero in disguise opened my eyes he made me realize sometimes its okay to cry not only that but he showed me how to heal wounds in time I am confident agin not holding problems from within everything just seems less dim Im happy Finally I dont have to hide from the person I am inside lifes one big emotional ride but I am my own guide funny how an hero shows you how to stay alive because no matter what you should never let yourself die inside

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Comments (3)

chey191997Jan 27, 2016

Thank you for all your input there is definitly some great suggestions:)

grace_taylorJan 27, 2016

<p>Oh, I like this one a lot. If you were to edit it, I would personify the hero more. Maybe spend more time on how your positive thoughts act almost as a sentient, outside force? Also, if you change the 2nd person tense to the more inclusive "we," you may find that your poem has more relatability. Your line choices are elegant, but don't forget stanza! You have a great foundation here.</p>

chey191997Jan 20, 2016

Feel free to give suggestions, comments, and feedback:)