Unfixable

Unfixable

It was as if I was created from

A different type of dirt.

I tried so hard to fit in,

I lost all that was me.

I finally had the person

I had been longing for.

The one I thought would

Make me whole, fix what was

Long broken within me.

For a while you did.

You made me laugh until it hurt

Made me forget about the sadness

That once enveloped me.

But you did not respect me.

You ignored my boundaries.

You though it was okay to touch me,

To make crude jokes.

You broke me beyond measure.

I felt like a shattered teacup.

I was unfixable, pushing

Me to do the unthinkable,

Constantly bombarded with

The memories of self-loathing,

Blaming myself for what you did

 I only thought of one way to escape.

Overwhelmed by all the hurt,

I picked up the knife trying

To fix the unfixable, only

To realize that I was the

 Only one who could rebuild myself.

I was the only one that could fill in the cracks with gold

Like the Japanese did with shattered teacups,

Increasing them in value and giving them character.

It was time for me to take the golden journey.

I was the only one who could fix the unfixable.