unspoken

by pen_heir

November 23, 2019

I never had the chance

To ever voice out my pain

Hence I had to dance

With it in the rain

For so many years I lived life knowing that

My pride had been taken away from me forcefully

And in knowing this I lived my life

Constantly blaming myself

When it was not really my cross to carry

I lived my life knowing that

I was just another one

Of his previous conquests

I lived my life knowing that

My silence made me

His easiest tool

For sexual gratification

I never put up a fight

Not again not anymore

What was the point

And each day I live life

Looking on and admitting defeat

Whilst still living in denial

Whilst still wallowing in the questions

Of what ifs and buts

What if I put up a little bit more of resistance

What if I never got myself into this situation

What if I dressed more properly

What if I never sent him perceived signals

What if I were more responsible

What if and buts

I have lived this life

One of denial

And I am done living that life

For so long I had wallowed in this pit

Living in this quagmire called guilt

For what I was powerless to stop

The time for healing has begun

It is no easy road

But I know this

I would come out a victor

At the very end

I would find that one reason or reasons

To be happy

And lead the life of positivity

I would find that reason

To seek a fresh start

And blot out the negativity

On the part of my story I cannot change

Now that is history

I cannot change

But I can write how my story ends

For I am my own author

Written by: Pen_Heir

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