Until They Are Gone

I hear the screams

I smell the breath

I feel the spit

It is dark but there is no doubt

It is there

It gets louder and louder and louder

I open my eyes and see different darkness

Then it stops

Only not really

I can still hear it echo in my ears

I feel the tears rush down my face

I try to slow my breathing

I stumble out of bed to turn on the light

I open my notebook to a fresh page

I write

I write and I write until the dream is gone

Then I sleep once more

Only it doesn’t stop

Every night they are there

I see the flames and smoke

Or I hear her car leave

My father’s voice is there also

Whispering in the dark

“Do you want to go to heaven with me?”

And again I jerk awake

Wipe the tears

Slow the breathing

Turn on the light

And write until they are gone