Until The Very End

He was twenty five

He'd been seeing

Through the bottom

Of a bottle

Since she could remember

Locked 

In a December

That didn't seem to end

Try all he wanted

He couldn't pretend

He didn't have it in him

To bend

 

She never knew

Anything

But cold and cool

Numb from the bone down

She felt nothing real

Stopped praying

Got sick

Of hearing nothing back

She turned her back

On herself

Turned into someone

She hated

To look at in the mirror

She was seeing the world

Through damaged lenses

They broke 

Every defense

She ever built

 

I love you

He said to her

Over the phone

She felt his pain

They had never felt so alone

He said

I'm scared

I won't ever change

I want to be better

For you

But I can't see the bottom

Of this ocean

And I can't get my feet

Beneath me

 

She said

I love you too

But I messed up bad

I wish I was like you

I wish 

I could be better for you too

I did

Everything I could do

But the wound

They just won't heal like they used to

And I've been crying

Ever since

Not even the love

Of a good man

Can save me

 

Hang up the phone

It's become so cold

Here in this house all alone

Burn old photos

They aren't real anymore

Don't knock at my door

Don't come around

This ghost town

You won't find me

Don't believe

In the lies

They tell you

Shut your ears and eyes

 

You can't reach me

And I don't want you to

If you can get out

Save yourself

Don't come back for me

You won't like

What you see

Or find

Don't turn around that car

Get as far

As you can

Until you run out of gas

Until you can't feel it anymore

Just go

Until you don't feel no more

 

Just know

I listened to your voicemail

Over and over

That night

I must've held that phone

So damn tight

I cried

Until I passed out

On that bathroom floor

And I still dreamed of you

Finding me

Way down here

I still felt you

And though I know

I have to let go

Just know

I must've held on to you

Until the very end

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