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If you saw me today

Would we be okay?

If you saw me today

And I said I missed you

Would you say

I've missed you too

If you saw me today

And I told you how many times

I have cried about you

Would you say the same thing, too?

If I saw you today

And you understood why I hate you

Would you say

"I'm sorry."

If you saw me today,

Would you recognize my face?

If you saw me today,

Would you know the day of my birthday?

If you saw me today,

Would you remember that time you said,

"Goodnight, see you tomorrow"

but you weren't there the next day?

If you saw me today,

Would you be proud of my straight A's?

If you saw me today,

would you be upset if I

told you that I pop pills

every day?

If you saw me today,

Would we finally get that 

god damn boba we wanted 

so badly that October day?

If you saw me today,

Would you still care?

If you saw me today,

Would you be surprised if I told you that

I rerun the last time I 

ever saw you in my head

Over and over again

That it was cloudy,

We were playing A$AP Rocky & Nujabes &

Death Cab for Cutie

You were wearing a camo hat and you 

took forever getting ready

And I was watching I Love Lucy?

If you saw me today,

Would you be sad that this poem is 

about you?

That I think about you all the

time because I ADORE you

And that I'm so sorry for not wishing you a happy birthday last

year b/c I was angry

at you??

Because the truth is,

I miss you.

I cry about you.

I hate you. 

I will never forget you face.

I know your birthday is November 23

and I wish you could tell me goodnight

one

last

time