untitled

I’ve been kind of tired.

Tired of the fact that i have to start off every poem I write

Every blog post I make

Every tweet

with i’m tired.

because i’m really not all that tired.

i’m actually just bored with the way that I carry myself.

I take up all of these different personalities and things just to see if i can be like the other person.

I only began writing bc she did it and i wanted to be just like her.

I don’t write anymore because she hasn’t been writing.

I don’t think that’s okay.

But I don’t know, I haven’t run it by her.

I see myself stopping in front of mirrors ever so often.

I always look

I spend countless hours listening to music I’ve heard 50 times over and mimicking it in front of the mirror just so I can see how I do it.

I stare at myself from every angle for up to hours; scattered of course.

I thought it was just me being narcissistic all of these years

;

maybe it’s been me trying to find myself in a place I never was