Used To Be

I used to be jealous of teens

their superiority, their parties, their freedom 

in between

their carelessness, their recklessness, and they're unstoppable

until you're seventeen like me

and your friends are suicidal and uncontrollable.

the stress of school crashes and breaks your back 

and you consider what it might be like 

to ask your parents to cut you some slack.

I'm trying, you say, I'm trying my best

but the dark, cloudy, vision manifests

and your beautiful blue eyes match the sea

as the waves come crashing out violently. 

when you were four 

being an adolescent wasn't a war

but rather a time to explore,

and it isn't so fun anymore. 

the teenagers were on top the world, 

because when you were six

you didn't realize how their worlds were whirled

with teen pregnancies, drugs, and broken hearts

never truly realizing 

that this is where it all starts. 

as for me when I was eight, 

i wouldn't listen when an adult told me 

"being an adult really isn't all that great"

and "you need to focus on what is now on your plate"

however at least i realized something 

with my 4.3 GPA, my bright future that awaits

that although i really have no idea what is coming 

i never got into the group of drug abuse and becoming 

someone my parents would disapprove of. 

i look now knowing i used to be envious of adolescents,

but at least i don't need to be put on antidepressants 

or new baby investments.

many of my beloved friends went down that road

and regardless they still showed

that such life inconvieniences 

can be healed or beautifully flourish.  

their glow up, as well as mine

proved that we should never take advantage of our time 

because our experiences are what makes our life quality from simple

to sublime.