Utterly Selfish For You

I looked deep into his eyes and I knew my eyes were the windows to my soul.

I have never felt this deep for someone , the need to hold him, kiss him, or even just see that smile made me feel   like i was falling into this deep pit of love that only him could save me and even him saving me would not even save me from this gut feeling i feel for him.  The problem is that he’s taken.

I want his happiness but i want him to be happy with me, only me.

Im utterly selfish  for you and

i am sorry to feel the need to keep you by side. Feel possessive over you , when you’re not even mine.

Mine, I want to shout to the world that word showing that your heart is mine and vice versa.

I feel horrible seeing you with her and if i could make you be with me, I would but that, again would be selfish of me.

  I can’t cast a love spell or be cupid for you to be with me but if I could I would, because that’s how badly I want to spend my life with you. 

I feel so utterly lost seeing you with her and i seem to compare myself to her all the time wondering what i lack of her.  

I have discovered I lack your love and her looks.

Looks, they are not important to me but I seem to have this addiction to improve my appearance to satisfy this society and their expectations of how a girl my age should look. 

I lack your love and your notice ,

each day because you don’t even consider looking my way when you could look her way.

You chose her over me without even knowing it.

That’s what makes it worse.

That’s what makes my heart ache with this need for your attention and the harder I try , the harder I feel like I failed to ever compare to her or to even match up to her.

I can’t be her because I'm not her but if I could somehow be her or even better i’d take the chance

no doubt.