An Utterly Unpoetic Passage into My Thoughts/ To You Who Feels Unstoppable

You put me to sleep last night,

The thoughts of you swirling around in my head

Became my tingling arm where I could feel your skin tucking in the blankets

Pushing me farther into claustrophobia.

I woke up with a swarm of bees in my mouth,

Words spit out like acid,

And tears collecting where my ribs should be.

I wish I could find the words to create the final piece of you,

To put you to bed, six feet under where you buried every part of my innocence.

I wish I could stop you.

I wish I could engage in anything sexual without flashing back and feeling you on top of me,

Without feeling the weight of your guilt and your ego on my chest.     

I wish this would be over

So I could crawl out of my skin that turns cold whenever you ease your way back into my thoughts.

I should’ve trusted my gut when I first heard your name.

It made my head spin and blood boil for reasons then unknown.

Now I know.

I wish you were a dodged bullet,

Not a bullet wound.