Valentines

This year I made four Valentines

One for me, myself, I and

My mom

What happened to the old days?

When valentines came in armfuls of twenty-six

Although twenty were forced

And only six were meant to mean something

But that pile left you feeling

Big

When I lost the first

That was the worst

I was found crumpled on the floor

In ruby glitter

While your long blonde hair was in tangles

As you swung from the monkey bars

And yet those were supposedly the days

Of innocence

But they ceased to exist

Past age six.

Number 13 was laced with red and gold

'Be mine' hidden within the fold

The girl too young for tattoos

I lost

Slowly then

All at once

My judgment crowded in

And yet I'd be the biggest hypocrite

If I didn't admit it was my fault

You called it quits.

So tell me

Why I went from twenty-six

To four.

Losing number 17 in the wake

Of my mistakes

I didn't care enough

Didn't love enough

To say thanks

For held in your little fingers

Was a macaroni glued world

And when you invited me in

I refused.

Tell me

Why he thought it was okay

To treat me that way.

Why the world continues to spin

Even when I beg it not to

When I scream for it to stop

Because I want to get off

But it won’t

And I can’t

So tell me.

Why I lost twenty-two

And that included you.

Number 22

Was a chalky yellow 'kiss me'

A golden halo surrounded your head

That should have been a sign of innocence

But you held a no strings attached rule about life

And you never thought twice.

Tell me.

Why the world keeps spinning

While I have nothing to hold

And the house lights are dimming

But I don’t want to go

Why I was left heartbroken

And you never thought twice.

Two.

One. two.

That’s how many times you begged

Twice.

Two.

One. two.

That’s how many times I said no

Two.

One. two.

Twice times two

Four.

Me, myself, I and

My mom.