Valentine's Day

Are you willing to wait for me?

I don’t know if it’s right to abuse you like this

This is my fault

Retching at pictures at everything you do the moment we kiss

Rejecting before attachment I’ve never not been talented

I still haven’t cried during a movie I’m sorry

Because Love is swallowing is a trap

Swinging in hammocks belonging to stranger’s front yards

Holding hands in trees and holding faces

I’d rather you vacuum the carpet with my body when I forget to clean

And call me every cursed name you can think of

Call me Ms. Liar

Call me Ms. Ugly

Call me Ms. Fag

Call me Ms. Tragedy

Just don’t call me Mrs.

I try to tell myself honesty doesn’t mean no privacy

Doesn’t mean I put tweezers under my undersheets and notebooks in dressers

I instinctively shove my phone under my bed covers before leaving the room

And sometimes there are candywrappers in my pillowcase

Like I’m back home in the morning before school

But it doesn’t mean silence I’ve tried that too

Are you willing to wait for me?

I don’t know if it’s right to let my abuser abuse you too