The Value of Darkness

Thu, 11/14/2013 - 23:57 -- dbasix

Location

I remember sititng, head against the silver wall. 

The engine roared, trembling the floor I slouched on.

It sounded like some sort of wild beast.

Looking out the open door across from me

seeing the blue movement beneath us

A few innocent seagulls flew by, oblvious to life beyond pooping on humans

and eating garbage.

So simple, I wish I was them.

My hand, as i gazed at it

shook.

I glanced at the pilot, a grin on his face

and he knew. 

I took one last look at my hands, and realized I was

alone. 

The infinite feeling, running through my veins.

Was I to die that day, I wish I knew.

So I took one final look at the pilot, 

and got up.

I thanked him, I didn't know if we'd meet again.

So i closed my eyes, and jumped.

Air, piercing through my fingers

Falling.

My shirt, grey and aggressive,

My jeans, faded blue with a whole on thee right knee

My shoes, the left one missing,

I fell.

And fell.

And fell.

Land beneath me, enlarging.

The sun only guided me for a while,

for I was only getting farther from him.

And as the time came closer, I let the string go from my hands.

Safety, gone. 

I counted in my head.

10, my shoe size.

9, my younger brother's age.

8, the years my parents had been divorced.

7, the number I wore every year on the baseball team. 

6, the number of times I saw my sister before she left.

5, the fingers on my hand that trembled as tears left my eyes.

4, the days I had left before I graduated high school.

3, the times I saw my father hit my mother.

2, the number of eyes I didn't have open.

1, the bruise I recieved from it all,

after I hit my head on the top bunk of my bed.

But as I  rubbed my head, I looked out the window,

And didn't see a seagull, or an airplane, or a skydiver

I saw the same bush that covers the view, everyday.

And fell back asleep,

Indulging the darkness as I shut my eyes. 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741