Van Gogh Variation

The scent of fertile soil caressed me as I sat in a wheat field.

Opening my canvas duffel, I delicately spread the flowers that it contained,

Irises, almond blossoms, pink roses, and twelve sunflowers...all for him.

Gaining motivational momentum, I uncovered the 7mm revolver and loaded a single bullet.

Sitting there with my fate decided, I found intoxicating peace. 

My life has been a series of uncontrollable events: critics rejecting my paintings, art galleries laughing at my most prized pieces.

But now, I am finally the one holding the trigger to my life.

While I wanted my death to pay tribute to my post-impressionist idol, I decided to make a slight change.

Bracing myself, I put the gun to my head.

I tried to imagine how he felt in this moment 130 years ago, Lefaucheux pointed at his chest.

Letting out a sigh in anticipation, I stated my last words:

"The sadness will last forever."

The power of the gunshot rattled my body, but my tour de force was just beginning.

The canvas that I brought to lay on glittered with pieces of my shattered skull.

Blood ran down the picture plane in frantic swirls, 

Masterfully enveloping the cypress tree that was my body.

With the sun setting over my martyrical masterpiece, my efforts gave way to a starry night.