Vanilla Ice Cream

I have loved. I have loved, like the bittersweet kisses you gave me on a hot afternoon while eating ice cream. And like the vanilla flavored ice cream which we licked in the back of your mom’s car giggling at the summer secrets we shared, I melted in your hands when you cupped my face and our eyes held each other’s gaze for what seemed like an eternity. There we laid, me in your lap with nothing but the sticky sweet touch of our summer skin intertwining together. When the sun kissed the ocean lines and the stars shook off their sleepiness and as your car pulled up in front of my house, I remember the sinking feeling my stomach had. Like an anchor dropping into the sea weighing me down, I lingered on in the car waiting for you to tell me to stay. But no such words were spoken, and as I said my goodbyes I could see it in your eyes and hear the lies, that you were setting sail without me. I have hurt. I have hurt, like all the times I’ve waited for the calls you never returned. And like those calls, I put my life on hold waiting for you to pick up on the connection that we lost. But all I got was the busy tone, and that’s when I realized that I wasn’t the person you wanted to call when you lied awake at night, engulfed about your dizzy dreams. No I was the person who you wanted to call to indulge in your late night fantasies and wicked schemes, I was your drunken texts and your early morning regrets when you’d finally sobered up. You hide me in your recent calls log, and in your inbox but you dare not speak my name in fear that someone might hear you on the other line. I have forgotten. I have forgotten, like my lips have forgotten how to speak your name. As nights turned to day, and blue skies turned to grey I waited for you to come back to me. To take me in your arms and hold me till I smelled that sweet summer scent of young romance and vanilla ice cream. I waited for your lips to come searching for mine, to call my name and to crave my embrace but… as days grew into weeks which slipped into months and the summer breeze blew into fall I realized that like those summer nights, you left me, with a puddle of memories of those sweet sticky kisses of vanilla ice cream.