Veil of Happiness

Depression is a widow's veil.

A black, looming object..light and wispy, blowing with every change of the wind. 

It's flowery design serves to hide the pain and agony that lies beneath. 

I'm fighting with my veil, trying to pry it off of myself.... to be free.

I want to let myself out, let myself know what the world is really like.

I want to see beyond that veil, but I can't.

The world is covered in a layer of black smog, looking through this veil.

Sometimes I even trick myself into believing that it's real. 

That this happy, flowered veil is really me.

The wind shifts.

They're angry. Someone's yelling. I have to make a decision.

The veil is off.

My face is raw and exposed to the elements.

I thought it would let all of the good things in, but instead I can see the bad that much clearer.

The world hits me like ice cold rain drops on a crisp autumn day.

I close my eyes and try to think of a better tomorrow, that there's hope.

Instead, the rain beats harder, sending my mind and emotions into overdrive. 

I pull the veil back over my face, again sheilding myself from the world of hate and despair.

If they think I'm happy, I won't have to talk.

I won't have to confront the demons that lay just beyond my veil.

The medicine, the therapy. It's all supposed to help.

Instead my veil gets darker, and soon I can't see the light at all.

I'm alone.

 

 

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