The violator

I take a deep breath before I close my eyes The nightmarish flashes tear at my insides All of THAT night The night I was too weak to fight I trusted you as we drank alone Too drunk to even use my phone I should have seen it in your eyes that day How you watched me like I was your prey. Ensnared in your trap Then suddenly I woke from a nap. Except hours had come to pass Waking up in your bed and late for class. I didn't notice I was naked even after putting clothes on As I rushed out the door I had flashes, painful flashes of the night thought gone. The way you pulled off my shirt even after my whispers to stop How you slid off my pants and climbed on top. Everything went dark... Then I could feel your tongue on my neck Each pain filled stroke made me more of a wreck When did you roll me over... Was it after you told me to JUST RELAX You finished after I passed out A monster who forced my face into a pillow when I had the strength to shout. I trusted you but you were an opportunist. Eager to take advantage of the situations. Ignoring my pleas or did they bring you pleasure My essence stolen like a thief does treasure My soul feels trapped in a body that I can no longer claim. Every thought only brings further shame Like why wasn't I strong enough to fight back Or why I got so drunk and fell on to my back. The nightmares never cease I want you know exactly what you did to me, The pain you caused and the disease of self hatred you planted like a tree. Maybe then I will finally be able to breathe again Instead I'm left here trapped watching the nightmare over and over, as one ends another will begin. Unable to trust and unable to feel Wanting to escape by over use of a certain pill But even death wouldn't allow me to fully heal. So hear I am shattered like a mirror Read this again if you need to feel my pain any clearer. -Not my story but one I have fabricated from the tales of loved ones and stories of Women being taken advantage of and raped. My heart goes out to all of those who are survivors and I'm here to let you know someone cares and someone loves you. Though no one can take this pain there are people who can help you and support you as you work to heal yourself. I know if I could I would take all the pain you feel away but life is a cruel mistress. Be strong and if you feel yourself slipping find support groups. It helps to be in the company of those who truly understand because they've been where you are.