The Violin

This relationship isn’t going to work
Don’t take it personally 
We were doomed from the start

Star-crossed lovers
Fate was never on our side
We are Romeo and Juliet
But we won’t love till death

Our relationship was built on texts
Promises never made to be filled
Inside jokes and happiness
Only showing the good
Forever hiding the bad

We were using each other
As a hideaway from the real world
I endlessly praised your sports
And you praised my smarts
With a little flirting in between
Everything was perfect

When life was bad
I was your virtual shoulder to cry on
I called you baby
Made a few shady comments to make you laugh
And told you that I believed in you
And on the really bad days
I gave you virtual kisses

And when I was contemplating the end
All I had to do is pretend to lack confidence
And you would lather me with compliments
Shower me with emoji hugs and kisses
Tell me how smart I was
That I could come to college with you
That I could do your homework
We’d be a team

I never told you the truth
That I was holding a blade in my hand
While texting you
Bleeding slowly
And that your never-ending kindness
Kept me from cutting deeper
I never let anyone know

And when you didn’t text
The only human contact I had
Was my family
I spiraled into a hole
And realized
How alone I really was

You didn’t know
But I was a marionette 
And you were the puppet master
Playing the strings of my heart

It was pathetic
My affection for you
It ruled my life
You were the only thing that could make me smile
You were my only escape

But now I need to take care of me
I don’t have time for this
This game that we play
Dancing around our feelings
I do too much for you
You play me like a violin
And I respond like an orchestra
A glorious symphony of emotions
But you only hear the beauty

You refuse to hear the bad
To hear the strings breaking
The cymbals clanging
The drum skins ripping
All you hear is the violin

The beautiful violin is what you fell in love with
You looked past the imperfections of the wood
And heard its voice
A voice that could be molded
Into whatever you wanted
You were the violinist
And I was the violin
Held captive in your hands