Visitor

Everyone makes me feel like I’m a visitor to my own body . My ears are flooded with things I didn’t even know about myself . People carve me and shave off pieces of myself . Shaping me into what they want to see . But when I look into the mirror it is no longer me . Thank you to the boy who told me I was gonna get pregnant in the hall last week. That made me feel like all I was is an object . Something to toy with . Thank you to the boys who left me crying on my best friends shoulder last Friday because I had let myself get to a point where I thought I couldn’t go. For placing your cruel words around my name . My heart . Thank you to the boy who said he would never hurt me but continued to do just that with all his words. His lips placing them on me . But most of all thank you to the boys who hit me up for sex because everyone made it seem like I am that easy. Thank you to everyone who carved me into this person who you think I am. Thank you for not actually getting to know me. Thank you for the reasons to cut the reasons to cry. Thank you for tearing me apart and building me into the joke of your own . You’ve made me a stranger to myself . But a friend to my depression . To the anxiety that loves the lies and poisons me with them . You’ve pushed me to the point of limit . Where even I can no longer remember what I am . But you will not win for I am much more than the slut you’ve put over me . I am not a body . I am no toy . I am a human being reaching happiness . So thank you because you’re going to regret not seeing the beauty growing within me .