The Void

Dear Mother,

Did you ever consider you didn’t love me? 

Perhaps, only the idea of me.

I gave you purpose which you sought so desperately, I filled that void, that loneliness left deep within you like a chasm.

I was a place holder for your happiness, for it was always on standby.

Your overbearing criticism seeped deep into my brain and corroded my sense of self. To this day I am still grappling with the person in the mirror, a constant battle with the reflection I see...and the one that is mirrored back to your eyes. 

You were a devil on my shoulder and I had no angel.

The four walls i confined myself in were not only physical, but mental. What should have been a safe house in those four walls had created a prison.

Couldn’t you see? 

Couldn’t you see?

Your loneliness hadn’t been filled...only transferred into my chest, into my lungs.

The Void has only consumed me.

Regrettably,

Your daughter